the man with all the answers

This is why I rock

2005-09-09T21:32:00.000-04:00

This is a copy and paste version of a mass email I recieved the other day.

Subject: Gas strategy> >> >> > It is rumored that we are going to hit close to a $1.42 a Liter> > by the winter. Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take > >some> > intelligent, united action. Someone offered this good idea:This makes > >MUCH> > MORE SENSE than the don't buy gas on a certain day campaign that> > ; was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed > >at that> > because they knew we wouldn't continue to hurt ourselves by refusing > >to> > buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience> >to us than it was a problem for> > them. BUT, this is a plan that can really work. Please read it and > >join.> > We all know that we're being controlled by the oil companies.> > Does everyone remember how they drove up the prices and got the gas> > prices to where they wanted them, claiming there was a shortage of > >oil.> > Well, there isn't any shortage now, and the oil is more abundant than > >it> > was 35 years ago when the price of a gallon of gas was 29 cents!!!> >> >> > Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us > >to> > think that the cost of a liter of gas is CHEAP at $0.78-$0.85, we > >need to> >> > take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the> > marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more > >each day, we> > consumers need to take action... The only way we are going to see the > >price> > of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not > >purchasing> > their gas! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since > >we all> > rely on our cars we cant just stop buying gas.. But we CAN have a n > >impact on> > gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.> >> > Here's the idea:> >> > PAY ATTENTION HERE> >> > > >For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest > >companies (which now are one), PETRO CANADA, SHELL. If they are not selling > >any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their > >prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an > >impact, we need to reach literally millions of PETRO CANADA and SHELL > >buyers. Its really simple to do! ! Now, don't whimp out on me at this > >point...keep reading and Ill explain how simple it is to reach millions of > >people!!> >> > I am sending this note to at least thirty people. If each of you send > >it to> >&nb sp; at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) . and those 300 send it to at > >least ten> > more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches > >the> > sixth> >generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION> > consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten> > friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it > >goes> > one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION > >PEOPLE!!!> >> > Again, all You have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all.> > How long would all that take? If each of us sends this email out to > >ten> > more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could> > conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! Ill bet you I > >didn't> > think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting> >together we can> > make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this > >message on.> > PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $0.64 OR> > LESS RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK!!!!!!!> >> > Just cut and paste this message and send it via email~! We can all > >complain till were blue in the face and having to suffer from it or we can > >do something about it or nothing will get done at all and only have > >ourselves to blame for it~! Simple as that~!

This was my mass reply.

> though this idea does sound good, in theory, for the most part the practical > application of it will be flawed. i recognize that we as canadians tend to > export pretty much all of the oil that we produce here in canada, and that > we import pretty much all of what we use from other countries. The problem > lies here in. to just simply stop buying fuel from the major distributors > ie; shell, petro can, sunoco and esso will really accomplish little. all of > those companies have parent companies. sunoco is part of suncor inc, esso > part of imperial oil and so forth and so on. the four major parent > companies pretty much make up the refining and distributing market here in > canada. most of the parent companies also have ties with american > companies. the point that i'm getting at is that everyone has to buy from > these bigger companies. even the little guy. all independant retailers of > petrolium products (any joe schmoe gas bar) has directly or indirectly > purchased it already from one of the bigger companies as the bigger > companies are the ones who purchase bulk amounts of crude oil and refine it. > the little guy isn't keeping his prices higher to try and get as much as > he can from you, he's doing that because he has to pay for it too. now, > because they little guy is buying in a much larger volume than what we as an > individual consumer does, he will get some breaks. but lets be honest, joe > schmoe is in business to make some money too. that fact that he might be > able to sell his gas for one or two cents per litre less than the majors > means that he's cutting his actual profits in half. personally i think that > the majority of the problem, as i think in many other circumstances than > just oil costs, lies within our government. nearly 50% of what you pay at > the pumps is taxes. that means with prices hovering around $1.30 our > government is taking in close to 65 cents per litre. maybe i'm the only one > who really feels this strongly about it, but i think it's high time we > started taking back some controll. the last time i checked, democracy meant > that our representatives actually represented us, not told us how they were > going to cast their votes according to what their party says. When was the > last time you heard about an MP or MPP actually speaking for the majority of > the people in his or her riding? how much longer are we going to just sit > here and let the government keep digging into our pockets and dictating to > us how it's going to be without so much as a thought to what we the people > who voted them into power might like. as far as i'm concerned, it's time > for a good old fashion revolution. taxes are nesessary, i understand that. > but 40% off the top of my pay, not the mention the additional 15 % on every > dollar that i spend after that? and further more, to bring it back to fuel, > nearly another 50% of every dollar spent on that again? we're pushing the > 75-80% brackets now. enough is enough.

That's just how I feel on the matter.

#2: GET IN THAT DUMPSTER!!!

2005-08-25T20:50:00.000-04:00

No joking folks, the title pretty much sums up # 2 on my list of things that piss me off. Upon arriving at work today, it was discovered that some moron had decided to eliminate a whole bunch of stolen evidence into our dumpsters. The biggest set back in the case of the stolen goods, was that they belonged to the boss. So when I call said person a moron, I think it really it applies more over than just once. "I've got an idea," says the moron, "I'm going to steal these many things from the boss, then when he's onto me, I'm going to throw them into the dumpster which he also owns. He'll never find them in there.". MORON.

Now to the part of my day which really bothers me. All items in said dumpster needed to be retrieved. At least Moron was smart enough to steal things of value. Boss however, wanted all of his items back. I can't blame him, there were probably thousands of dollars worth of goods in there that had been missing for some time. Boss can't be bothered to get his ass in there and dig out what belongs to him himself. Nope. That'd be too easy and probably make sense. "Cam is in the shop today," I over heard Boss saying to a fellow co-worker. "We'll pull him off of a rushed job to go and get everything out of there that belongs to me." I can respect Boss wanting all his tools back that were in there. I can respect him wanting his apliances back that were in there. I can respect him wanting that large box of framing nails out of there. Oh wait, what's that? The box of nails opened up? Here's where I lose a lot of respect for his ambitions and begin to really hate what I do for a living. Boss wants all of the nails out of there. Even the ones that have made their way to the bottom of said dumpster.

So here I am, chest deep in garbage looking for effing nails. I felt like I was in that scene from Star Wars where Luke and Leia and Han and Chewie are in the garbage compactor and can't get out. Oh, did I mention it was in the middle of the heat that we had this afternoon? Or that the dumpster was about 8 feet tall? No? Sorry, I had meant to. I didn't actually sift through all the crap. I grabbed what I could find from the top, climbed out and then hid in the back shop for a half hour before return the nails to the boss. Needless to say, I was mighty impressed by his devotion to his framing nails, though I'd have been more impressed if he'd have gone after them himself. Oh well. I'm going to be paid for it. Here's how it's going to look in my log book tomorrow:

Aug. 25/05

Shop Time: cleaned dumpster - see Dan for work order #

2hrs.

Where's the Beef??? Let me tell you.

2005-08-19T17:30:00.000-04:00

I feel it's only fair to pass along this information. I've recently stumbled on one of the sweetest sites around. He's a sports and gaming legend, friend of few and foe to most, fellow blogger, and possibly the single most feared identity known to mankind...........Jim Beef. Beef not only sets new standards and heights in sports and gaming, but now in he sets a new bar for editorials everywhere. You can read up on what Jim has to say about day to day survival or the world of sports and gaming at www.jimbeefkicks.blogspot.com or you can email him with sports and gaming questions to learn from the man responsible for more opponant blood loss in a sports and gaming history at jimbeefkicks@hotmail.com . Feel free to ask away, only if you're up to the challenge

# 3

2005-08-16T21:47:00.000-04:00

Top Five continued.

3. Showing up for work Monday morning to find out that I'm heading out of town for a week, that morning. Lately nothing has bothered me more than finding out ten minutes before I'm supposed to leave town for a week that I'm leaving town for a week. If the boss knows on Friday that he's planning on sending me half way accross the province, do you think it would be too much to ask of him to let me know? Apparently it is. Though, just for kicks, I've ball parked the time it would take to call me on a Friday and let me know. Place your bets on how long it takes to say "Hello, Cam? It's Dan. Listen, I'm going to send you to Ajax for the week starting Monday. Be packed and ready. Thanks, bye".? About 20 seconds, give or take. Apparently it's just too much to ask of the man.

I've recently explore to ways to combat this reccuring. First of all, if at all possible, I make plans for the week if I have no schedule as of Friday. Plans that I simply cannot break.

Second, if I am unable to make plans, or I have no choice but to break them, I let the boss pay me to go home and pack a bag. He may not enjoy either option, but that's the price he's going to have to start paying for showing little to no common curtosy or respect for the fact that I do try and uphold a life outside of my career.

TOP FIVE

2005-07-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

I originally wanted to make a list of five things that really piss me off. That's really not a problem. It's just taking longer than I thought to remain calm enough to write about these things without wanting to put my fist through a door. Here are the first two things that I'm goign to post, seeing as I haven't posted anything in some time. There will be more follow.
This is just a small list of things that really annoy me. I figured it was good time I vented again.

5. Country Music.

I've recently endured a lot of persecution while making the statement "I hate country music.". It seems that just about everyone I work with on a regular basis just can't get enough of this garbage. I've often considered throwing myself from a moving work vehicle while near the end of a three hour trip on the 401 just to avoid another useless lyric from one of these morons. Now, I am one for giving credit where credit is due, and thus, some of the country music performers are indeed both talented musicans and wonderful poets in their own right. The crap I'm talking about is barely strong enough to be called dribble or sappy fluf.

The first of two that I wish to discuss has got to be one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I'm not even sure of what the title is or who performs it, usually because I'm having a rage blackout by the time they recap who we just listened to. The main line of the song is "My give a damn is busted". Pretty much every other line in the song is just a variation of this line in some way or another. It's not funny and it's not witty. It just plain sucks. It has the ring of a 15 year old self righteous female brat who seems to be under the impression that not only does the entire world revolve around her, but everthing that comes out of her mouth should be documented as a genious statement. Grow up you snot.

The next shit kicker song I'd like to rant about, (sorry to those of you who don't like the lingo I just used, but having grown up in the country myself, I felt as though I could speak to that audience), deals with making a country music convert. You see, Joe Manure (country music performer) is sitting next to Johnny Regular on a plane. The get to chatting about what each other does for a living. When Johnny hears what Joe does for a living he tells Joe that he can't see why anyone would want to be involved with such a business. Joe explains how country music is songs about him and who he is. Joe goes on to give Johnny tickets to his next show. After the show Johnny finds Joe Manure and what do you know? Johnny has changed his ways and loves country music now becuase, get this, it's songs about him, and who he is. This is the kind of thing I expect to hear about after a Billy Graham revival meeting. Not some useless country song. Though I'm sure that the Angels of country are rejoicing exstatically now to have recruited one more brain dead sap.

4. If you don't know how to drive a big truck, DON'T BUY A BIG TRUCK.

Too many friggin times I've been stuck behind people in parking lots and on the road who just don't know how to handle a large vehicle. It's not the same as driving a sunfire. First of all you're probably handling another four feet in length on a large truck. You can't turn the same. Stop trying to make the big truck turn into tight little areas...because you know what happens? you end up making about a 17 point turn and still not getting it right. Try this next time. Find a parking spot a little further away from the front and a little less congested. That way you can pull right into a parking spot with no one on either side of you. Trust me. The time you'll save not making an ass of yourself trying to get that closer spot that you couldn't pull into if your life depended on it will more than make up for me wanting to give you a really hard punch. Once again, common sense prevails.

LEGO WARS

2005-05-20T08:39:00.000-04:00

Well, three of my favorite things from my childhood have joined forces. I've loved all of these things from the very first moment I ever sampled them. Video games, Star Wars and Lego. On my PS2 I've been battling my way through episodes 1, 2, and 3, all the while as a lego character. And I've got to say, it's been a freaking sweet experience.

Now, the gameplay is nothing complicated by any means. Nor should it be, as this is intended to be a childrens game. That doesn't mean it's not awesome to watch your favorite characters weild a lightsaber around. All attacks may be accomplished by the same button, but the series of moves are different each time you hit that one button. Further more, each character is given their own fighting style.

One of my favorite bits about the game is when you blow stuff up. Not only is blowing stuff up super cool on all levels of reasoning, but in this game when things explode, little lego blocks go flying around. Hahahaha, freaking sweet. Same goes for killing anyone. Their lower half slips out from their upper half, and their little head goes bouncing along.

One more fun thing about the game, once you've completed it, you can unlock or purchase other characters to play again with. Right now I'm going through the game a second time as Darth Maul. That guy is awesome. And let me tell you, there was something really awesome about watching Darth Maul face Darh Maul.

BATMANS

2005-05-03T14:34:00.000-04:00

The sixth Batman movie is due to be in theatres this coming summer. The whole Batman legacy is one that has spanned many decades. Ups and downs, change after change, Batman still stands. No matter how you try to repackage the guy, he will still be Batman. We're about to see the fifth man in tights to play the role of our beloved super hero...which brings me to the point of what I'm getting at.

Michael Keaton's Batman did not replace Adam West's Batman. Nor did George Clooney's Batman replace Val Kilmers. If you were to look at my dvd collection, you'd find more than one Batman movie there. Just because a new person takes on the role of Batman doesn't mean that I throw out my previous Batman movie. No. I simply make more room on the shelf. I may like the newer Batman film for completely different reasons, or even for many of the same reasons. But that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy the old Batman movies still. Just because I loved the old Adam West Batman movie doesn't mean I can't watch another Batman movie ever again.

Some of you reading this might be wondering just what the heck is wrong with me right now. Understandably so. I'm using the Batman legacy as an analogy. You see, I was chatting to my good friend and former room mate Spicer the other evening and I mentioned two of my newer friends. I've also mentioned this to another good friend and former room mate Scott. My two newer friends are Phil and Joel. To help Scott and Spicer understand that Phil and Joel are friends that I value as much as Scott and Spicer, I said, "Phil and Joel are my new Scott and Spicer". Such a comment was not received well by both Scott and Spicer. It seems as though they both feel somewhat betrayed...which could not be further from the truth. In no way am I trying to replace Scott or Spicer. I'm not throwing out my friendship and memories of Scott and Spicer, I'm simply making more room on the shelf. To make new friends is one thing. To find other friends that I can deem Scott and Spicer quality is a rare thing to do. This in no way means that I'm done with Scott and Spicer, it's just that there are other people playing the same role that they will always play.

I Don't Know But I've Been Told.....

2005-04-13T21:59:00.000-04:00

I work out of town a lot. As a matter of fact, I am typing this from the lobbey of a motel far far away from where I reside. As a result of being away from home so much, the concept of a good home cooked meal is somewhat out of my reach at times. Eating at restraunts is a common occurance for me. On top of everything beggining to taste and cost about the same, there is one thing that really seems to get to me these days.

Everyone has a birthday. It's just inevitable. I realize that people go out to celebrate such an occasion. And rightly so. I've done so many times myself. What I'm finding these days though is something that is just a touch agravating to me. I can't get through a meal anymore with out hearing all the staff of an establishment getting together and chanting military style that someone is having a birthday. As much fun as it may be to embarass people, all I'd really like is to have a peacefull meal.

Perhaps I'm not seeing this from the right perspective. But I just can't wrap my mind around what is so entertaining about stamping and clapping in unity and being so interuptive of people relaxing at dinner. I'm finding fewer and fewer places to go where I can actually sit down, relax a little, have something to eat, and not have to deal with ridiculous amounts of background noise.

Now, I get the idea that people like to chat with each other during a meal. I'm all for that. But even the music that plays over the speakers is getting to be a little overdone. I don't see why I have to use my "outdoor voice" just so my server can hear my order. I really despise that idea that all of the staff need to "have my attention for a moment", because "someone here is having a birthday". Just sing happy birthday to them and leave them their little cupcake with the sparkler in it and get on with things.

Mystery Gal Pal

2005-04-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I was in Blockbuster Video just last evening when it all went down. My sister and I were browsing through some of the lesser heard of movie titles and laughing aloud at many of them when it happened. I was approached by one of the staff of this fine retail chain. She asked if she could help us find anything. A couple of things came to mind

1. Never in my countless trips to Blockbuster have I ever been asked if someone could help me.

2. Perhaps she thought I was trying to shoplift and gently tried to interupt my crafty attempt at thievery...at least, that may have been her perspective as I'm not one to thieve.

When I explained to the young lady my intentions to find, and passion for, bad movies she seemed to be content with my answer. At which point in time most people would have left; she stayed. She wished to further the conversation of bad or B movies if you will. Again, a few thoughts came to mind.

1. Was she simply trying to humour me?
- Perhaps she didn't want to seem like a disinterested shop keep and thought it might be good
for business to take an interest in a customers interests.

2. Was she trying to impress me with a vast amount of knowledge?
- After rhyming off some seldom heard of film titles, I couldn't help but think that perhaps she
was trying to "one up me". That's not a terribly difficult thing to do as my love for poorly
made films does not mean that I have an extensive knowledge of all poorly made films.

3. Was she making a move on me?
- This was possibly the most puzzling thought of them all, seeing as
a) I was looking esspecially hidious that night in a crappy pair of jeans, a dirty green work
shirt, my hair all over the place, and a beard that hasn't been trimmed since August
2004. - note today's date as April 1st 2005
b) I was with another girl. All be it, the other girl is my sister, I doubt she would have
known that prior.
c) I can think of nothing that is "likeable" of me from a first encounter.

So here I am left in an utter state of confusion. Though it is the least probable, and afer much discussion with my sister who wittnessed the whole thing, it seems almost like it was my third point that I touched on. To wich I am baffled.

I guess that's always been something that's baffled me. I've never understood why a girl would have ever had an interest in me. Even when I've been in a relationship for a long period of time, with some serious commitement to it, I've never figured out why said lady would want to be with me. Some of the girls I've dated, if I do say so myself, were some dandy pieces of eye candy...where as I am not. I've often thought that they could do much better than me. And some have gone on to do so. So here I am, alone and befuddled. GOSH!

BANNED!

2005-03-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

So, to the very best of my knowledge, the ban on pitbulls in the province of Ontario is not 100% complete yet. I believe it has yet to go through it's final reading.......however, it's as good as here.

The whole idea of it just out right pisses me off. Not only because I am a pitbull owner, but because of how ridiculous the whole idea of banning one breed of dog is.

This is just another example of how dumb our government can be. Take gun controll for example. Instead of cracking down on illegal ownership and use of firearms, the government takes johny law-abide gun owner and slaps him in the face with expensive registration costs. What exactly did this accomplish??? Basically nothing. Maybe just another layer of hundreds of thousands of dollars of honest civilians money to pad their wallets. Let's face the facts; no one who has purchased a gun illegally or has intentions of using it in a criminal manner will be running to get it registered anyways. At least we'll be able to track down guns that aren't being used in crimes anyways. Good job morons. How much did that cost the taxpayers to impliment? And how much has it cost honest gun owners to continue to be honest?

I agree that dog attacks are a terrible thing. Perhaps if something should be done about it, maybe the government can start cracking down on neglegent owners. Hey, I might just be on to something here......attack the problem at the source. Perhaps people should have to prove that they are eligable to have a dog........you know, kind of like how you have to prove that you're capable of driving a car. Maybe all dogs should be forced to wear a muzzle when out in public. Maybe all owners should be liable for their dogs if they should attack........nope, just pitbull owners. I say all dogs because of two reasons; we live in a country that promotes equal rights, and I don't think it's right discriminate no matter size, colour, race, or breed.........seeing as statistically pitbulls are not as likely to attack as some other breads. But we'll just ban the ones that the majority of people don't like. Good work Hitler.

I wonder if our government will stop at pitbulls. I mean, I can recall several incidents when I was still a student in public school where some bullies would rough me up, even beat me near relentlessly. What is to be done about children with a mean streak? Why aren't kids with a background of violent behaviour being forced to register as offenders. Heck, why hold back; lets castrate them and shackle them in public. That ought to stop every schoolyard problem.

Forgive me. That was improper to suggest such a thing. Children don't even need to have a history of violent behaviour, just the capablility of it. So lets round up all the kids who are big for their age, naturally strong or athletic, or just appear ill tempered and throw them into that lot.

What gets me the most is just how stupid the public really is. The general public was worried about gun use in our country.....so the government basically did nothing about it but scam honest people for money. And the general public is actually impressed by this. Nothing was done to stop illegal guns and thier use - and the public praised the government for solving nothing. I'm still pissed off that the government took my tax dollars to support this and accomplish didly squat. Maybe I should just become ignorant like the general public and only read or listen to the words that oppease me.........guns.......controll.........problem solved.

When every dog attack that has something to do with a pitbull is in the media, appropraitly at the time the government is trying to pass a bill, of course people are going to think that these dogs are out of controll. What else are they going to think if it hasn't been spoonfed to them by our elected officials? Wake up people. Take some responsibility. Heaven forbid it that the problem might be the you are just a terrible pet owner, or that you shouldn't intrude a dog's territory, ( taking food away, breaking up two fighting dogs, acting in a controlling or offensive manner in a dog's home ).

Maybe I'm over reacting. I guess I just don't respond to well to seeing my 5 month old puppy go through ethnic cleansing when she won't even nip when we play together.

Useless.

I'm Going Shopping!

2005-03-18T19:36:00.000-05:00

I have got to level with you folks, I am a man who loves spending money. I don't know if I can completely answer why that is, but I often finding myself leaving just enough money aside to pay the bills and pissing away the rest. I love spending my money.

Now, I'm well aware that's not the smartest way to go about life, and yes, I know I should be doing something about it. And that something may just be a trip to the mall. Yes yes, the mall is one of the places that I tend to loose all my funds at...but hear me out. I was at the mall, (Wal-Mart to be exact), just today, and it had to be one of the most frustrating times I've ever endured.

1. Trying to park.
- Maybe I'm the only one who hasn't noticed the little drop off box at the parking lot entrance
where we're all supposed to leave our common sense before driving within the lot.
- Pedestrians have the right of way, and apparently dominant reign over the entire lot.
- The yellow lines to indicate where to park your vehicle are megre guidlines. If you happen
to have your car parked on one of the lines, making it near impossible for anyone to park
next to you, that's fine.

2. Becoming the pedestrian.
- Though this is never an easy transition, you may take refuge in walking in front of traffic
trying simply to get around you.
- If additional comfort is needed, take your time.
- For further comfort, walk right down the middle of a lane, so no one can get around you from
either direction.

3. Lets shop, shall we?
- Some of the same rules to driving and being a pedestrian apply here aswell.
- when opperating a shopping cart, it is imperative that you take up as much of the aisle as
you can.
- moving slow, or stopping to do as much research on every product in and aisle is the truely
the only way to shop. Having any regard for other people trying to get by or who may need
something that you are standing directly in the way of is for the birds.
- Failure to acknowledge phrases such as "excuse me" or "may I get by please" or "may I
reach in there for a moment" is every shoppers birthright.

4. Paying for your purchase.
- This is possibly the single most enjoyable chapter of shopping.
- While your items are being scanned for your total, you may be enticed to look at the People
or National Enquirer maazines on the rack. When it is time for you to pay, don't rush to put
that magazine you're not going to buy down, just simply keep the cashier and everyone
behind you waiting, especially if there are many other shoppers behind you.
- You have every right to seem offended when people give you unpleasant looks for your
behaviour.
- Be sure to bring lots of spare and small change. This is the perfect opportunity to get rid of
as much of that inconvenient stuff as possible. Don't be affraid of storing it in hard to reach
areas of your pockets or purse. And certainly, don't you dare think to start looking for all of
your small change while you are still waiting in line...that can only confuse things.
- This may be the best time to ask someone about a price or a product that you couldn't find
while shopping. Those people on the floor in said products departement aren't there to be
bothered...the cashier will know best.

Honest to goodness, I went in to Wal-Mart today to buy some soap to clean upholstry with, and a pack of gum. It took a solid 45 min at least to do this task. I'm growing to hate crowds, hate lines, and hate people in general...at least the dumb ones.

Fight Match.

2005-03-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

It's no secret to my closer friends that I am a wrestling fan. This was not always the case. It wasn't until two of my good friends helped me to see wrestling as the quality entertainment that it is. On that note, a big thanks to Spicer and Scott for all they've taught me. But in all honesty, this post is not about defending my being a fan of sports entertainment, no. It is about one match in particular. Summer Slam 2002, Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels, non-sanctioned fight match.

This match had everything needed to be a good one. Once best friends pitted against each other, retalliation for a brutal attack that put one man in a wheel chair for a period of time, the challang one man faces to come out of retirement, and the ever classic "I am better than you" grudge.

It was a classic from the word go. Michaels had been retired for over four years due to a plagueing back injury. HHH had announced that they were never friends and that they had only used one another to get to the top. In the events leading up to the match, not only did HHH turn on Michaels, but he put Michaels head through the windsheild of a car. Defying all doctors orders, Michaels agreed to one more match to settle the score.

Awesome things to look for:

1. Great technical wrestling.
- Say what you will about either man in the match, but the facts are in...they both know how
to put on a show when necessary.

2. Lots of high risk manuvours.
- Sure they weren't exactly death defying, but for a man told never to wrestle again because
of back injuries, Michaels certainly delivered......from a ladder, top rope, and through tables.

3. Just when you think it's all over...
- There were a few points at wich this match could have ended and I would have felt satisfied.

4. Climactic ending.
- Michaels goes for the finisher...HHH reverses it
- HHH goes for the finisher...Micheals reverses it
- Michaels gets the pin and celebrates a match well faught
- HHH nails him in the back with a sledge hammer, not once, but twice, leaving Michaels to be
hauled away on a stretcher.

All in all, a fantastic match. You get to root for the hero/underdog, boo the bad guy, celebrate with the triumphant, and hate to villan more by the end of it all.

It's the best we can expect

2005-03-15T22:28:00.000-05:00

Here's the deal kids. I'm a big fan of games, and a big fan of movies. From time to time, a good game will come out because of a good movie. The opposite order of that previous statement is just the opposite. Anyways, I'm not trying to get into a debate with the geeks out there, I'm just going to share some thoughts.

I'm a big fan of the Kill Bill movies by Quentin Tarrentino. I know they weren't the greatest movies made, but I love them none the less. It's got attractive ladies and violence......I'm pretty sure that just got every red blooded males attention. There is TONNES of sword fighting in the first movie, and as a result of that, I've wanted to play a good sword fighting game. The only problem I've encountered along such lines is that there are few to no good sword fighting games of any of the newer games I've played.

Now I do most of my gaming on my PS2. Though I'm hopeful that there will someday be a Kill Bill video game (hope prompted be the Fight Club game that recently was released) it is probably unlikely. So what am I to do in my longing for a good game of blade wielding? Then I remember something from my past, and something usefull about my possessions.

I can play original Play Station Games on my PS2, and for the original Play Station was a fantastic little game called Bushido Blade. The graphics weren't amazing, and it isn't complicated to play. It is however not really gory (just a little blood on a fatal hit, and no dismemberment), and just fun as pickles and cheese to play.

Things I like most about Bushido Blade:

1. A well placed sword stroke can render a limb useless.
- You've read it right folks, if I should happen to hit you in the arm, the arm just dangles at your side.

2. The match is over as soon as the first fatal hit is landed.
- A good stab through the heart or face and it's all over folks. None of this health pack and sheilds business. And no health monitor either.

3. In Slash Mode, One must fight there way in a hallway.
- Sure you only face on opponent at a time, but you can fight them for hours.
- It's a great way to get some practice in and accomplish something at the same time, as it keeps track of how many kills you have and you pass a level for every ten kills.

This last point is the one that really ties in with how I began this post talking about Kill Bill. for those of you who have seen the movie, all I have to mention is the restraunt at the end, and you'll have an idea of what Slash Mode is sort of like...At least, while she's fighting in front of the blue walls or on the balcony.

So, all in all, it's no real deal Kill Bill game, but I love it. It satisfies my need to hit things with a cold steel blade, but keeps it fictional enough that I don't have to clean up any messes or have a chat with the copps afterwards. And since it was an old game, I was able to pick it up good and cheap.

GET OFF MY BACK MONKEY!!!!

2005-03-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

Ok ok ok.......I'm well aware that it's forever and a freakin day since i've posted. Due to some recent comments posted by a good friend of mine, it seems as though i have not only been encouraged, but challenged to post again. Well here you go naysayer, I'll conform just to please you........but just this once. Then I'll take back my last shred of dignity and do things my way again.

Alright, with that being said, I'd like to take this moment to pitch a new idea. I'm thinking that rants are a wonderful thing, but they aren't all there is to life. There is also a need for reviews.

Within the last 4 years, I've become increasingly more interested in films. This fascination really all started when I moved into a wonderful little place known as Slumhouse. At first, it baffled me that multitudes of men would gather to watch some of the worst sins of cinema, but it wasn't long before I found myself cheering and laughing right along side of them.

There was also a certain sense of pride that came along with all of this when some one would find a movie far worse than anything else we'd seen previously. That sense of pride has led to a rather extensive and still growing collection of movies on my part. I'm up to about 150, which I figure is quite the rapid rate, seeing as two years ago I could only lay claim to about six. Often times, the more obscure the better. It never hurts to have a well known celebrity in the movie either, especially if said celebrity was not yet discovered at the time, or if they have tried to dismiss the fact that he/she ever appeared in such a film. Take my latest find for example. The movie is called FreeJack.

1. Bounty hunters of the future seek to reap harvest of people from the present.
- Time travell makes all movies better. I don't care how you cut it, it just does.

2. The villan of the movie is a "bonejacker"
- Cleverly titled new careers are a must have for the future.

3. Our hero is a "freejack", frantically running for his life so as not to have his bones "jacked"
- Hero's should be people we can identify with. I know I wouldn't want my bones "jacked"

4. Excessive use of the word "Jack"
- This is basically the "Smurf" pricipal, where by one term is used for nearly everything.
Nouns, adjectives, conjunctions, proper names, titles, places and motives.

5. Emilio Estevez is our hero.
- When I think of quality films, I think of Emilio.

6. Our villan for this ride, is none other than the one and only Mick Jagger.
- I don't believe I need to say anything more along those lines.

Well, that's about all I've got in me for now. But keep checking the site here, because there are many more reviews to come. This, of course, is not just limited to movies. Oh goodness no. I feel it's only fair to review all the details of life.

Examples:
- My day at work
- The pizza I ate on the way home from Petrolia last night.
- Snickers vs. Oh Henry
- The way my puppy eats so fast

And just in case anyone here is wondering, you can read the piece the "inspired" me here...

http://chrisspicer.blogspot.com

look for the enrty titled The Man, The Mythe, The Absent...

I must be doing something right.....

2004-06-24T19:18:00.000-04:00

Well kids, I have some news for you. I am single handedly changing the world we know one person at a time. Oh it's true. You'd better believe the convicting power of that statement folks. And to those of you who are at this very moment in reading my words thinking that I'm out of my element.....EAT THIS!!!
While working this past week in the small town of Stouffville, (just north of Markham), I was busying myself by threading some pipe. In the trailer, where all pipe is threaded, I had the radio tuned in to a station known as the edge. While I was listening, there was a shift change taking place at the radio station. The DJ, who would be entertaining my for the afternoon, said something said something that I just found too good to be true...and yet it is. He came on the air and immediatly began his show with "Folks, I'm in such a good mood today. Such a good mood that nothing could ruin it for me. Not even Sheryl Crow herself could make this a bad day for me.".
I was so moved when I heard this. It was as if my new DJ friend and I have been reading the same book, and we're reading the same page, at the same time.
Now, to be prefectly honest, I can't say for sure weather or not my very first post had anything to do with it, (if you're not sure exactly what I'm talking about, check out my very first post entitled "When modern rock defocates on my ears".). I do have this to say on my own behalf however: this was the first of any outward negativisms I have heard since that post. "But Purple Terry," you say, "you posted that so long ago.". True I did. But no one just jumps into battle. You don't just go to war tomorrow, do you? No. One must first get to know their enemy, have a stratogy, and map out an attack. Only fools rush in, I say.
Anyhow, to sum it all up for you, I'm just glad to see that against all odds, someone is actually willing to say something worthwhile on the air.

Small correction.

2004-06-16T22:33:00.001-04:00

In a previous post, I ranted about my good friend Pueller Harknuckle. I recomended that people should check out his post or "blogs" if you will. Now, I just realized the biggest mistake that I could have made. I gave the wrong adress. Please check out the mans fantastic works at pueller.blogspot.com

t'was a fine tale for the moment.....

2004-06-16T22:33:00.000-04:00

Basically, I'm just writting this post for two simple, and near meaningless reasons.
Reason the first: I haven't posted anything for a while. Reason the second: some of my good friends might just enjoy hearing this little ditty.
Now, picture if you will; I'm at a retreat with about 25 fine other people. Someone gets the bright idea that we should hold our own mock-election/campaign for our own entertaining pleasures. So, me being the former imporv buff and spotlight craver that I am, decide to run in this election. I didn't want to use my real name though. No, the name of Cam Mitchell just wouldn't do. I needed to be someone dynamic, someone with authority, someone who gets results. And with that last point in mind, I knew exactly who I needed to be. None other than the undefeated, no nonsense coach of Madden 2003 on my good friend Scott's Gamecube....Murray Rosenblat.
Before I go any further with this, I'd like to put in an appology here, incase my good friends Scott is at all upset that I would do this to both he and to Murray. But I will also let Scott know right now, by means of a merger with another party before the votes were cast, Mr. Rosenblat remains undefeated.
I'd like to share with you some of Mr. Rosenblat's highlights of his campaign. First off, as I walked up to the platform to an outstanding round of applause and cheers, I thanked the people for their cheers. I then went on to ask the people if they had ever seen that show, Cheers. I told them that I thought it was pretty good. I then went on to tell them something they may not have known....Cheers was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Secondly, I went on to tell a story of how I once spent over an hour at a restraunt with a girl and payed little to no attention to her, as you see, the Simpsons were on T.V. at the time. She just sat there looking at me, while I just sat there sipping my drink, laughing occasionally at a witty quip or two.
And now thirdly, and possibly one of my favored moments through out the whole political race, the moment that I addressed a vandalous incident. I had gone out to my car, packing something in the back of it, when I noticed that someone had taken tooth paste and written on my car "Eat that Rosenblat!". Now, needless to say, I was curious to get to the bottom of it all. So in my last chance at the microphone before the polls were open, I decided to make the issue public knowledge. I read the quote which was smeared accross my rear windshield, in hopes to have someone come forth with some information. There seemed to be no one at first who would confess. I then went on to ask the vandel what the message meant. "Eat whaT?" I asked the crowd. "Eat a cookie? Becuase I very much like cookies and wouldn't mind that at all".
Anywho, long story short, two people addmitted to the act, and then went on to clean my car.

More tears, more beers. To my right nut, see ya later fella.

2004-06-05T20:34:00.000-04:00

Friends, I have to let you know straight up, though this blog is posted for all to read and appreciate, it is dedicated to one individual man. He is a good man, and a good friend. He has also just recently celebrated a birthday. It saddened me beyond what any of you will be able to fathom that I was unable to be there to celebrate with him. This man makes fun times, birthdays especially, way better fun times. He is also very creative. So creative, in fact, that sometimes he needs to wear an eye patch. I'm feeling very confident in my guess that many of you reading this have absolutely no idea what I'm getting at. Well, forget letting me try to explain these things to you, why don't you see just how creative this one man can be. All I have to do is convince you to look at his work, beyond that, I need not explain another thing. For you see, upon reading his work, you will be where I am at now. It will be you imploring other good folk to review his deeds. Please folks, for the good of all that are living, please read his works. puellerharknuckle.blogspot.com is where all good tidings stem from. Now, to deal with some unfinished business. To Pueller himself; good sir, though I was abscent from your special turning of age celebration, I did conduct an honourary act of celebration on your behalf. Pueller, just for you, I purchased one Pilsener tall boy, (as seen in the film FUBAR), I jammed a hole in the bottom of it, gave the only salute worthy, and I gunned that bad boy - to celebrate not only another year of your life with us on the earth, but to celebrate your life changing deeds. I thank you my good friend. I thank you that your work has changed me, challenged me, and made me an entirely new person.

To die by mine own hand.

2004-06-01T15:18:00.000-04:00

It's coming to get me. The date is near. The gears of progress are set into motion. A day will come soon when I must die! Die by mine own hand. Alone, my fate will come to collect. And yet together many of us will fall. Fall by our own hand. "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all", BAH! I say to that. BAH! to you who try to talk me out of a hopeless tomorrow. BAH! to you who have left me here to embrace no new mornings rise. The sun of this life is setting, and there shall be no tomorrow, no new day, no reason to press forward. It comes to me at last, my final hours. Faces pass by me daily, unknowingly passing for the last time. It will all be done away with soon. My gathering along with myself, destined to die, destined to die alone, destined to die by mine own hand.

Lazy Eye!

2004-05-27T22:57:00.000-04:00

So, I'm in Blockbuster today, cause I wanted to rent a movie. My sister is, as usual, with me. Now something you should all know, if you don't already, is that I live to see my sister get angry. And if that fails, I do at least try to make her laugh at my stupidity. Well folks, today I failed at provoking her to anger, however, I did manage to create a humorous and embarrassing situation. We were looking to rent a movie, and we looked all over the store for it, and we could not find it. My sister decided to ask the clerk for some assistance. The kind lady told us that yes they carried our desired film of choice. My sister replied by saying that she had looked all over for it and was unable to locate a copy. This is where I took it upon myself to interject. I went on to tell the clerk that it was probably my sisters own fault that she couldn't find the movie, because she can only see out of one eye properly. My sister laughed unmercifully. The lady behind the counter didn't exactly know how to respond. All in all though, I did find it to be a good gag to use in that situation.

We'll Be Red Soon!

2004-05-23T16:54:00.000-04:00

I've got to tell you something kids. I'm finding life these days to be very disconcerting. Time after time I sit back perplexed and befuddled as I watch life change right before my very eyes. It's almost as if the older I become, the less of a man become aswell. I feel it in my brittle, mid-twenties bones. It seems that my best days are behind me.....gone, gone for good. Most of my present day conversations begin with, "Remember when", and ,"Back in the day", or the most dreaded "I used to". I can feel myself, in the great automobile that is life, downshifting to a mid range gear.....like 3rd. I feel it in every fibre of my very being. I see the lights at the intersection ahead.....I see them turning from green to amber, as if to whisper "We'll be red soon........we'll be red soon!". In the same respect as a beaten down, high mileage Chevy, I've got all the goods I was originally stocked with, but with all the wear and tear, I just don't have the same "get up and go" that I once did. I feel as though my days are numbered. With all the long, hard miles behind me, how much longer can I last. It feels as if my bits and pieces will soon be rusting off their hinges.
I feel old now, and getting older. Never to feel young again is a not so distant future. Tomorrow holds yet another slice of my dignity that will slip away from my grip.
As if things weren't bad enough, I think my hair is falling out.

do you ever stop to think about the little people in life.....

2004-05-21T11:30:00.000-04:00

Do you ever stop to think about the little people in life? The everyday "hero's" if you will.....Have you ever stopped to think about what little gratitude they recieve for their troubles? When we're driving in a parking lot, and someone lets us have that space that we were both eyeing up. When someone see's that we have an armload of items we are carrying, and they hurry up to hold a door open for us. That very sweet person at the grocery store, who see's that we have two items to purchase, while they have many, and let us go first. I have found from observing that many times we are very thankless for these selfless gestures. Today folks, I am writting to say thank you to a small group of people who did such a selfless thing for me.
On a recent trip to the local gas station, I needed to refuel. Once inside the store to pay, I noticed a few other items that I should purchase. When i got to the counter to pay, in the midst of juggling my purchases and some small talk with the cashier, I foolishly left my credit card on the counter. As i tend to use this card just for the purchase of petrol products, I failed to notice that my card was missing from my wallet until days later, when it was time to refuel again. Now, being a supporter and regular customer whenever possible, I returned to the same gas station. I filled my tank, went inside to pay, and as I opened my wallet I noticed finally, that something was missing. "Oh shit!", I believe my exact words were. And now, all of a sudden, a small streak of panic and fear hit me.....Where was my card? Did I lose it? Did someone else take it? What sort of ungodly amounts of money has someone spent on my behalf? But before I could get these thoughts into speach, the cashier asked me what my name was. He then asked me what kind of a credit card I had lost. Upon answering his questions, the man behind the till then handed back to me the card I had left behind a few days ago. Thoughts then went from panic to embarrassment. Feeling very relieved however, I did manage to meekly blurt a small thanks in his general direction, as I was feeling very foolish and about 3 inches tall.
What an ass I was. I was more concerned with a self centred image of being such a fool, that I was barely able to bring myself to show some appreciation. And to make matters worse, for a two year period in my life, I was that man behind the till, helping people above and beyond the call of duty. If anyone should have known better, to suck it up at say a simple proper thank you, it should have been me. I can tell you very honestly, and with no word of a lie, that a gas attendant is probably one of the most thankless jobs around. I'm sure that many of you will scoff at that, even laugh aloud at such a remark, but it's the truth. There was a time when about 350 people a day would do their very best to treat me like dirt....less that dirt even. I've had people insult me, take their aggressions out on me, treat me like their own personal bitch, provoke me into arguments, throw things at me, and belittle me to no end.....as if my life was worth nothing because I was just a "gas jockey". There was even one man who decided to take a swing at me. I know for fact that there are many times gas attendants do courtious things to help people, usually the same people that give them such a hard time, and their deeds go unnoticed. I also know that the few times that someone does stop to say thanks, and show their appreciation, will not be forgotten.
Shame on me, for barely being able to utter a simple thank you to someone who litterally saved me thousands of dollars and headaches. Shame on me for not sucking up my pride and embarrassment to properly show my gratitude to someone who did me a favour.....an uncalled for, undeserved favour.
I have full intentions now of making amends for my failure. I plan on writting a letter to all the staff at that gas station and even leaving a small gift. I also plan on writting the their head office to commend their staff at this particular location.
I remember a day, not all that long ago, when this was just a common practice. Someone does an uncalled for favour for you, and you show gratitude. This little incident could have cost me quite a lot, but now it's just going to cost a small piece of my pride.

when modern "rock" defecates on my ears

2004-05-19T21:10:00.000-04:00

Sometimes folks, as i'm sure you'll all agree, there are events or circumstance that occur whereby we are unable to conduct any sort of strike back or counteraction to......when the government raises our taxes, we all grumble, but in reality our hands are tied. When our favortive televised program is removed from regular broadcast for seemingly no reason what so ever, we are saddened, but again, we find ourselves in a position to accomplish no retaliation. When calling in to the local radio station to hear our favorite songs go out over the airwaves, only to have our phone in attempt at momentary bliss go unanswered, we are crushed. But what if there was some force of evil that you could make a stand against? What if you were handed the opportunity to do some good, to raise a fist in the air as if to say " Hey man!, You'll push me no longer!"? Friends, and do-gooders alike, i offer to you this chance, this moment of reckoning, to settle a score long left unsettled....
To my personal disgust, there has been one enchantress of shame and travesty that has managed to run unchallenged and untamed all over the face of modern day music. She has, in essence, flatulated all over the great face of beloved rock and roll. i dare say, that within an inch of certainty and fact, some of our great fathers in rock would be vomitting in disgust at such a socially unchallenged abomination of their toils and livelyhoods. I am, of course, making refrence to the detestable harlette of modern rock - Cheryl Crow.
I need not say anything directly condescending about her music....it speaks volumes for itself. I do, however, offer to you, the opportunity to redeem your silence. Our actions truely speak louder than words. Join me friends, in the loudest inaudable protest to ever take place for the redemption of our airwaves. I am urging you, NO!, i am pleading with you, for the very sake of your dying souls of rock....throw her CD's into a lake. Turn off her cassette tapes. Mute MTV at her very presence. Find the local classic rock station in your area when a song of hers is being played, or if all else fails, tune in to am talk radio.....for the the love of all that is holy and peacefull, DON'T BUY HER MUSIC!!! Once her presence goes entirely unnoticed, the producers and spokes people of all major labels will be forced to unload her. Then and only then will we live in peace, at rest, FREE. Please folks, for the sake of youselves, and the children who are so innocent, raise that fist, and take back what never should have been hers in the first place